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“Avengers” Is Awesome, And Totally Quotable

I have now seen Joss Whedon’s Avengers twice, once in 2D and once in 3D.  (The 3D is absolutely worth it, by the way).  I absolutely loved it, as I do pretty much all thing that Joss Whedon creates.  In the hands of another director this might have been a very clunky storyline with superheros crammed in together for no reason, but Joss weaves everyone together naturally and keeps it fun and exciting and badass and hilarious.

If you’re confused about the tag scene after the credits, this is a great article explaining who appears.  If you’re wondering how the Hulk was suddenly able to control his Hulk self, it’s a matter of debate but here is one explanation.  If you are and have been a Whedon fan like me, then you probably already know this but here is a letter Joss Whedon wrote to his fanbase and posted on whedonesque.com.

Really my main complaint with the movie is that Thor should have left a freaking postcard for Jane Foster.  She’s gonna know he was on earth, it’s all over the news!  And if I were her I’d be pissed he didn’t take the opportunity to message me.  Also I wish they would have explained how Banner was able to control Hulk better, but even so Banner/Hulk was probably my favorite character in this movie.   I hope there is a director’s extended edition, though, and that it shows Thor taking 5 seconds to leave a memento or note or something for Jane.  Also, I totally want to see a Hulk movie starring Mark Ruffalo, written and directed by Joss Whedon.  Because then we would finally have a good Hulk movie.

I love that each character in The Avengers is partially defined by his or her dialogue style–Capain America uses outdated phrases that would have been modern for him back when he was frozen in ice (“this guy packs a whallop!”), Thor verbally stomps around in “thee”s and “thou”s, (“I do not look to be in a fighting mood!”) while Stark is of course flippant, sarcastic, and constantly running his mouth, (“That man is playing Galaga!  Thought we wouldn’t notice–but we did.”).  There are a plethora of great, quotable lines in this movie, and I probably haven’t caught them all yet, but after two viewings here is what I have so far (spoilers, totally, obviously):

Professor Erik Selvig: “The teseract is misbehaving”

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Hawkeye: “The cube is a doorway to the other end of space, right?” *shrugs* “Doors open from both sides.”

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Loki: “I am Loki, of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose.”

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Loki: “Freedom is life’s great lie.  Once you accept that, in your heart, you will know peace.”

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Black Widow: “We’ve kept our distance, but now we need you to come in.”

Banner: “And what if I say no?”

Black Widow: “I’ll persuade you.”

Banner: “And what if the…other guy says no?”

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Black Widow: “We’re facing a global catastrophe.”

Banner: “Well those I definitely try to avoid.”

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Nick Fury: “The world has gotten even stranger than you already know.”

Captain America: “At this point I don’t think anything would surprise me.”

Fury: “Ten bucks says you’re wrong.”

(later, when the ship flies and becomes invisible via high-tech reflection panels, Captain silently hands Fury a ten dollar bill).

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Pepper Potts (to Coulson): “Phil!  Come in!”

Stark: “Phil?  His first name is ‘Agent’!”

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Stark: “I’m gonna pay for that percentage comment in some subtle way later, aren’t I?”

Pepper: “Not gonna be that subtle.”

(…later…)

Stark: “Y’know, I thought we were having a moment.”

Pepper: “I was having 12% of a moment.”

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Coulson: “When he’s [Banner] not that thing though he’s like a regular Stephen Hawking.”

Captain: *blank stare*

Coulson: “He’s like, a really smart guy.”

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Coulson, to Captain: “It’s an honor to meet you, officially.  We’ve met before, I watched you while you were sleeping.  I mean, I was present while you were unconscious.”

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Black Widow: “Gentlemen, you might want to step inside.  It’s gonna get hard to breathe.”

Captain:  “Is this a submarine?”

Banner: “Really.  They want me in a submerged, pressurized container?”

(it turns out to be an airship)

Banner: “Oh no.  This is much worse.”

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Hawkeye: “I need a distraction, and an eyeball.”

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Captain, to Loki: “Y’know, the last time I was in Germany I met a man like you.  We ended up disagreeing.”

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Stark, to Loki: “Make a move, Reindeer Games.”

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Stark, to Captain: “You mighta missed a couple things, y’know, doin’ time as a Cap-sicle.”

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Captain: “Stark–we need a plan of attack!”

Stark, jumping out the plane: “I have a plan–attack.”

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Captain: “There’s only one God, ma’am.  And I’m pretty sure he doesn’t dress like that.”

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Thor: “Do not touch me again!”

Stark: “Then don’t take my stuff.”

Thor: “You have no idea what you’re dealing with!”

Stark: “Uh, Shakespeare in the park?  ‘Doth mother know, that you weareth her drapes?'”

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Jarvis, after Iron Man’s suit absorbs a lightning bolt from Thor’s hammer: “Power at 400% capacity.”

Stark: “How ’bout that.”

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Thor: “Loki is of Asgard.  He is my brother!”

Black Widow: “He killed 80 people in two days.”

Thor: “…he’s adopted.”

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Fury: “I’m interested in knowing how Loki turned two of my men into flying monkeys.”

Thor: “I do not understand.”

Captain: “I do!  I get that reference.”

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Captain: “Is everything a joke to you?!”

Stark: “Funny things are.”

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Captain: “Big man in a suit of iron, take that away, what are you?”

Stark: “Genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist.”

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Thor: “You people are so petty.  And tiny!”

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Banner: “Sorry kids, I guess you don’t get to see my party trick after all.”

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Captain: “It seems to run on some sort of electricity!”

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Random Farmer: “Are you an alien?  From outer space, an alien?”

Banner: “No.”

Random Farmer: “Well then, son, you’ve got a condition.”

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Stark: “Loki, he’s a full-tilt Diva.”

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SHIELD pilot: “You guys aren’t authorized to be here!”

Captain: “Son-just, don’t.”

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Stark: “Actually I’m planning to threaten you.”

Loki: “Should’ve left your armor on for that.”

Stark: “Eh, it’s seen a bit of mileage, and you’ve got the glowstick of destiny.”

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Stark: “If we can’t protect the earth, you can be damn sure we’ll avenge it.”

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Hawkeye: “Wanna give me a lift?”

Stark: “Right–better clench up, Legolas!”

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Council Member: “Directory Fury, the Council has made a decision.”

Fury: “I recognize that the Council has made a decision, however given that it’s a stupid-ass decision I have elected to ignore it.”

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Loki: “Enough!  You are all of you beneath me.  I am a god, you dull creature!  And I will not be bullied by–

(Hulk thrashes Loki around like a rag doll)

Hulk: “Puny god.”

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(Stark is lying on the ground, unresponsive.)

Hulk: “RRRRRRRRROOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!!!”

Stark: “Whaaaaat the hell?  What the hell just happened?!  Please tell me nobody kissed me.”

Captain: “We won.”

Stark: “Hey, all right, yeaaaah, good job guys!  Let’s call it a day, not come in tomorrow.  Ever heard of shawarma?  There’s a shawarma joint two blocks from here.  I don’t know what it is, but I wanna try it.”

Thor: “We’re not done yet.”

Stark: “And then…shawarma after?”

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Chitauri leader (tag scene): “Humans–they were not the cowering wretches we were promised.  They are unruly and therefore cannot be ruled.  To challenge them it to court death.”

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